Fibro Runner... Or Should I Say Jogger

I had an interesting conversation with my friend while we were in the trenches of running shoe shopping last week. It started when she asked me if I was able to already see any benefits to my new jogging routine? I quickly rattled off that I had more stamina and energy, then threw in an example or two. Then she asked: How is it affecting your body, you know, with the pain? She was alluding to the fact that, among many other issues, I have Fibromyalgia. I was so engrossed in finding the perfect shoe, that I answered quickly and truthfully: "Yes, it hurts but I'd rather be in pain for a reason." 

I should have added 'for  a good reason' because for years I have been struggling with widespread pain. And it wasn't for no reason. It was because somewhere in my brain things got jumbled up, so my nerves are overactive. They feel pain when there is no outside factor. No one was beating me up in my sleep, I had not been in a car wreck. I just feel that way. How dumb, right? So anyways, back to the conversation (the part where I said 'I'd rather be in pain for a reason'). When I said that it was definitely a moment of epiphany for me. It's true: I would rather have the pain of using mucsles in my legs (that I didn't even know that I had) mask the constant pain of this chronic disorder.

The latter pain screams to me that I am weak, powerless.

The pain I feel after I've been jogging exclaims that I have strength, endurance and a lot of heart.

Little did I know how empowering jogging would be for me and I am just beginning. It is just another step in the master plan to make me a healthier person. Yes, in truth, I may never feel as good as the average healthy person but my heart and mind will be whole. Forming a more confident version of myself.

Wow, definitely food for thought. Until next time.